Most people who end up an emotionally intense adolescent and adult experienced instability, adverse childhood experiences, or trauma as a child.

For example, a 2017 study carried out by Italian researchers found that 80% of people diagnosed with borderline personality disorder experienced trauma.

But then some people who experienced trauma don’t end up with emotional dysregulation. So it’s thought that being emotionally intense is a combination of environment and genetics. If you are, for example, born with a sensitive personality, you are more likely to have emotional dysregulation if you epxerience childhood trauma.

1.Use it in a productive way.

Like anything, emotional intensity has a positive and negative side. Many people with intensity issues, for example, are also creative, sensory, and sympathetic to the suffering of others. Instead of focusing your intensity on your relationships, find a positive outlet, such as volunteering, making art, or joining a cause.

2. Get your emotions out by yourself.

The problem comes when we take our emotions out on others, or use others in our obsession with exploring our emotional states.

The secret when dealing with emotions, as put by an NHS-produced pamphlet on emotional intensity, is to, wait awhile before responding.

Try things like free-form journalling, expressive dance, singing, or drawing out your feelings. Or heck, a punchbag in the garage, if that is what works. The NHS also suggests punching a pillow.

3. Remove lifestyle choices that make things worse.

Hangovers make the best of us grumpy. If you have emotional dysregulation, things that affect your moods like binge drinking are best avoided. As are recreational drugs, unhealthy eating and bingeing, and not sleeping enough. Instead, up your self-care. Eat well and exercise.